My good blogger friend, Linda, over at litebeing chronicles was recruiting bloggers to participate in her blog challenge. I contributed for one of these challenges a while back and it was an awesome experience so I was excited to do this one as well. You can see my post, Cosmic Retrograde Challenge – Breakfast at Tiffany here. I chose today’s date because I knew I would be off work from the dreaded pharmacy today and I kinda liked the idea of being the last one. It’s fitting actually because I am usually the last to show up for anything. Perpetually late – the story of my life. Nonetheless, here I am but I am afraid my brain hasn’t shown up yet.
2014 feels like a wasted year to me. I know that sounds self-deprecating and that I need to stop feeling like this, but I just can’t. Spirit is reminding me right now that this year certainly hasn’t been a waste, so maybe I should explain myself a little better. My children are healthy and still here with me and they have grown another year older. That is certainly a good thing. I have a wonderful, understanding and patient husband who loves my quirks, and that is good. Spirit has been showing me a flip book of sorts in my head of all kinds of moments from 2014 that I should be thankful for, and I am. It’s just that I thought I would be farther along in my spiritual learning by now. So now, on to the five questions that Linda asked of us who were to participate in the challenge. Like usual, I am sure I will feel better after writing this. Spirit always shows me the way when I am writing about these kinds of things which can be helpful when one has no idea how it will all turn out.
1. What lessons did you learn?
The answer to this came to me before I had even started this sentence. I think this has been a hard lesson to learn. I have always been a bit of a loaner. I didn’t necessarily always want to be, but I will admit to feeling a bit neglected in my younger years. I am used to be alone and really wouldn’t mind spending a week completely by myself, left to my own thoughts and devices. This is the confusing part when considering my spirituality. I was led in this direction by my father. We were completely separated until I was 22 years old. We are now in almost constant contact now, although he lives in Alabama and I live in Arkansas. Since we started on this journey together I feel like I can tell him anything and he feels the same. It is definitely not your normal father/daughter relationship, but it is what is was meant to be. He is my best friend and I need him. I always thought that I was to go on with this spiritual change in my life, with my dad. His tumultuous relationship with his wife has been going on for years but has been especially bad this past year. When I have needed him or needed to talk to him he has been too wrapped up in his own life to actually be there. This goes for several other people whom I have confided in or gotten advice from in the past. The majority of my relationships have always been about me giving the advice and me listening to the problems of theirs, and that was fine but I always had those few who I could go to when I couldn’t help myself. Now I feel like I don’t have that. There are two people in particular that only want to re-hash their issues over and over again. I listen and don’t bother to tell them that I have already heard the story they are telling me three times. My dad is one of these people. I miss our old conversations that could take the mind to such an awesome place that I would have visions upon visions sometimes. I feel like I am alone now and this had led me to the conclusion that I can no longer wait for others to “be ready”. I have been ready and been sitting on go, or so I feel.
I think that the lesson I have learned is that this spiritual journey is all mine and it’s all about me. As much as you try to help some people and make them see what you can see, it doesn’t always mean that they are meant to see these things yet. It can be frustrating, as a psychic, to see your loved ones go through things that you have tried to warn them about. At some point, I plugged up any progression because I have been waiting on someone else to come with me and I can’t do that anymore. It’s kinda sad but I don’t want to end 2015 feeling this same way.
2. How did you serve others?
Well, in a pharmacy way I have served and served. I served a patient who treated me like crap for how long her prescriptions were taking to be filled. Little did she know we were cross checking her husband’s most recent medications from his heart attack with his older stuff he was still taking. It is literally life and death and still people treat us this way. I have learned to take a beating over the years if it means she can spend Christmas with her husband and her family. It’s definitely better than the alternative.
One whole wall in my kitchen is a wasteland of plastic and cardboard. My city doesn’t offer recycling so we smuggle ours over the state line to a recycle bin there. I haven’t always understood my reason for becoming so adamant about recycling. I saw a few really awesome, inspirational videos on YouTube and have been convinced ever since. You can see one of those videos here. I really think that we are forgetting of the other creatures of the world and our Mother Earth as we consume and consume. I am guilty as well and strive to make a difference everyday in my impact on the world. Mother Earth gives of herself to us all day, everyday and has for 4.54 billion years or something like that. I don’t know if she can continue to give and give as technology and engineering increase, causing more strain on her. Please be mindful of recycling programs in your area. Not everyone has to give their everything for this to work. Just do what you can do to help out.
3. What blessings did you receive?
Well, I’ve already spoken of my kids and my husband, who bless me everyday. I have gotten to spend a lot of time with my aunt and my cousin, whom I didn’t get to see as much before. My family gets to meet regularly at our beloved river, where we can get centered and I feel at one with nature. We are lucky to have such a place, which has been in my family for over 30 years. As a family, we don’t always get along with each other, but we would have each other’s back if needed. We all love each other and I am blessed to have these people in my life.
My bills have been paid and we are warm and have food to eat. There are so many others who have so much less than I do. This seems like enough to me. Some want more material possessions and I am blessed to not have that monkey on my back anymore.
4. Was there something you lost that turned out to be a blessing in disguise?
I used to be completely engrossed in Headline News on Cable. I could hear it in my dreams, the TV still on as we slept. I didn’t really ever dream anything that I could remember back then. I kept myself concerned about all activities reported on HLN. It was ridiculous. I wanted to be unplugged and we did. We cancelled our cable and I cannot tell you what a relief it has been! I used to worry so much. What happened to that missing plane? Where did that little boy disappear to? It’s not that those answers aren’t important, it just isn’t that important to me anymore. There is someone whose job it is to figure this stuff out; it’s not my job. It was physically and emotionally draining to try to take on all that stuff. It’s interesting that I can remember my dreams now. We still have internet and Netflix, but when I go to sleep, the TV goes off. For anyone interested in unplugging, even if only part of the way, I completely suggest ridding yourself of your cable and saving at least $120 a month. It’s really helped me to reconnect with myself and my family.
5. Did you receive any gifts in terms of power or skills?
I feel a little stagnant and stuck in a position of helping myself right now. This year wasn’t near as crazy for me in terms of gaining powers or skills; it has been nothing like the year before. Maybe I had asked for too much too soon. This has been a reflection time for me, but what I did gain was getting to know my animal spirit guide, the Grasshopper. This has definitely been an experience for me; Grasshoppers coming out of the woodwork to get my attention. In this short time of Winter that we have had so far, I haven’t had a GH moment in a while, but I know they will be back and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings me.